This is the third post in my series of interviews on masculinity. I think that some clear patterns are starting to emerge in the responses that the men are presenting. Today, we have D of the blog Narration by D.
D’s responses focus largely on the body and the physical realities of typical masculine vs. feminine forms. By characterizing himself as androgynous, D seems to separate himself from masculinity both sexually as well as physically.
When was the first time you remember being aware of masculinity? How old were you? What was the cultural climate or influence?
The first time I was aware of masculinity would be when I first tried to play organized sports. Sports reeks of masculine ability, and it sums up the masculinity in competition. I noticed that most of masculinity revolves around establishing yourself in the pecking order. I suck at sports, built thin, gangly and uncoordinated. Strength and stamina are prerequisites of masculine power and sports, sadly.
I was about 8 I think. My sister was very good at sports, much better than I was. Small midwest town. Sports are the big thing in the town. That is what school pretty much revolves around. My parents were very supportive of reading and education, but they did love the sports aspect of my sister.
Do you think of yourself as masculine? Why or why not?
No. I have never felt very dominant, nor do I have a masculine build. I have what would be typical ‘feminine traits’. I’m a peacemaker and hate competition. I have middle child syndrome written all over me. I am passive and compromising, touchy feely, not what I would consider masculine. I always felt that I look more androgynous than masculine.
How does your masculinity relate to your sexuality (be it your orientation, preferences, or expressions)?
Well, I find I am attracted to women that have a very feminine look. Very curvy, not really thin and boyish. I am also almost always attracted to dominant women. I am very non-threatening to women. That was a problem in school. I’ve also always been bi-curious. I like the thin, lithe boy types – kind of the opposite of what I like about women.
Some people have asked me if they can answer the questions. Absolutely! I look forward to hearing from as many people about this as possible. You can answer the questions and email your response to lumpesse AT gmail DOT com or you can post them on your own weblog. There is no need to link back to me (although I certainly don’t mind) but I would love if you sent me a link so that I could link to your responses here. The only thing I ask is that the comments of each post be left to discuss that particular post, so don’t post your answers in the comments.
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