Ellie Lumpesse: A Pretentious Pervert

  • (RSS)
  • (RSS)

online discount medstore
advair diskus for sale
buy advair diskus without prescription
allegra for sale
buy allegra without prescription
aristocort for sale
buy aristocort without prescription
astelin for sale
buy astelin without prescription
atarax for sale
buy atarax without prescription
benadryl for sale
buy benadryl without prescription
buy clarinex without prescription
clarinex for sale
buy claritin without prescription
claritin for sale
buy flonase without prescription
flonase for sale
buy ventolin without prescription
ventolin for sale
amoxil for sale
buy amoxil without prescription
augmentin for sale
buy augmentin without prescription
bactrim for sale
buy bactrim without prescription
biaxin for sale
buy biaxin without prescription
buy cipro without prescription
cipro for sale
buy cleocin without prescription
cleocin for sale
buy dexone without prescription
dexone for sale
buy flagyl without prescription
flagyl for sale
buy levaquin without prescription
levaquin for sale
buy omnicef without prescription
omnicef for sale
amaryl for sale
buy amaryl without prescription
buy cozaar without prescription
cozaar for sale
buy diabecon without prescription
diabecon for sale
buy glucophage without prescription
glucophage for sale
buy glucotrol without prescription
glucotrol for sale
buy glucovance without prescription
glucovance for sale
buy micronase without prescription
micronase for sale
buy prandin without prescription
prandin for sale
buy precose without prescription
precose for sale
buy cialis professional without prescription
cialis professional for sale
buy cialis soft without prescription
cialis soft for sale
buy cialis super active without prescription
cialis super active for sale
buy cialis without prescription
cialis for sale
buy levitra without prescription
levitra for sale
buy viagra professional without prescription
viagra professional for sale
buy viagra soft without prescription
viagra soft for sale
buy viagra super active without prescription
viagra super active for sale
buy viagra super force without prescription
viagra super force for sale
buy viagra without prescription
viagra for sale
buy celebrex without prescription
celebrex for sale
buy colcrys without prescription
colcrys for sale
buy feldene without prescription
feldene for sale
buy imitrex without prescription
imitrex for sale
buy inderal without prescription
inderal for sale
buy indocin without prescription
indocin for sale
buy naprosyn without prescription
naprosyn for sale
buy pletal without prescription
pletal for sale
buy robaxin without prescription
robaxin for sale
buy voltaren without prescription
voltaren for sale

Archive for the ‘Sex Toys’ Category

Door Jam Cuffs [Toy Review]

Jul 7,2008

These Door Jam Cuffs don’t look like much out of the package but turned out to be surprisingly functional. They work quite simply without any fussy installation or need for hardware.

A serious bondage enthusiast would probably have more severe and effective restraints in their repertoire but if you are interested in getting started, these cuffs (or something like Under the Bed Restraints) are the perfect accessory. You won’t be able to tie up a fugitive with these but since your participant will be willing and ready (despite their playful protests) no need to worry about that, right?

The cuffs are made of a soft material and fasten with simple Velcro closures. While they aren’t meant to hold up your body weight, they will take on a fair amount of it if your knees get a bit weak. They can be used on either wrists or ankles – in fact, using two sets at once isn’t the worst idea!

One drawback of these that I noticed right away was that the way they hang over the door jam doesn’t actually do anything to stop the wearer from slipping their wrists toward each other. In addition to the fact that they are Velcro, this makes them exceedingly simple to get out of.

However, this criticism is only leveled in comparison to more serious bondage implements. These Door Jam Cuffs definitely fall in the very playful category and will function effectively, dare I even say joyously, for a variety of exploits you might think of. Mine are staying right in their place over the bedroom door for any impromptu play that I come up with.

Snugglepuss [Toy Review]

Jul 5,2008


I had been waiting to try the Snugglepuss for awhile. I read tons of rave reviews. I love dual stimulation toys and this one looked particularly interesting. The Snugglepuss from Vibe Review is designed to be a hands-free toy, the larger portion is inserted and rests against the G-spot while the small part sits on the clit.

Once the toy is properly inserted, here is where the magic begins. The hing of the toy opens and this creates the connection for the vibrator to go on. Neat, huh? The vibrations are steady although relatively sedate and the toy stays put well. I could imagine wearing the Snugglepuss while standing and moving around and having it function effectively. In fact, I’m wearing it right now while I sit at my computer and write this review.

Merely squeezing my kegels or wiggling in my chair a bit can shift the toy just enough to create some variation in the stimulation. In fact, I can see myself being able to kegel my way to a very nice orgasm.

Despite this convenience, I’m not crazy about the Snugglepuss as a toy for getting off with. I can think of some very nice applications for this toy for teasing a partner (or unruly submissive) but it seems like the sort of plaything best suited for foreplay over delivering intense orgasms.

The reasons for this are straight-forward. The vibrations are not particularly intense and the fact that the toy has to stay in a pretty static position means that they can get a bit numbing after awhile. Likewise, the G-spot stimulation is pleasant but won’t push you over the edge without some significant rocking or use of hands.

I’ve tried using the Snugglepuss in a variety of positions and each yielded similar results. Combined with some spanking or teasing, having this toy shoved in my cunt certainly turned me on. But, I don’t find myself lusting for the Snugglepuss to push me over the edge. The orgasms I’ve experienced with it have been lackluster and a lot of trouble. My best experience with it so far has been when I used it to get very aroused and then got properly fucked.

Do I hate the Snugglepuss? Absolutely not, I can think of many things that I like about it and occasions where it may come in handy. Is it the hands-free orgasm machine that some people describe it as? Not in my experience.


Jun 27,2008

I tried out the i-Lube in a recent episode of Bedroom Radio and wanted to report in more detail on my findings about it.

First of all, this is a silicone-based lubricant which comes with both advantages and disadvantages. I’ll start with the most clear downside. Silicone lubes can’t be used with silicone sex toys because they react with the material and can degrade it. We’re not talking science fair reaction here, but you will come back to your favorite dildo later and it will look like it has a flesh-eating virus. Now, you could put a condom on your toy to use it with a silicone lube, but I personally wouldn’t chance it. I make sure that all of my treasured toys are out of the way before a bust out a lube like this.

Of course there are lots of things that I put in my pussy that I like to have lubed up and that aren’t made out of silicone. Cocks spring to mind (story of my life!) and also gorgeous glass toys (more on that later). So, what are some of the positives of a silicone lube? The slipperiness is not like what you’ve felt before. The active ingredient in them is dimethicone which is almost a powdery slip instead of a wet one. This can be a really sexy sensation and can be effective for a variety of purposes.

So what about i-Lube? I have to say that I have not tried many silicone lubes before but compared to Eros Bodyglide, it doesn’t hold a candle. I found that it seemed to wear off quickly and get a bit sticky. As far as I am concerned, that means it is a blend of the worst things about silicone lube and the worst things about water-based lubes.

Now, all of these potions have different formulas and I’m not a chemist but I wonder if perhaps iLube skimps on the dimethicone a bit compared to some of the other silicone lube manufacturers? I am only speculating on it though. For now, this lube will be used in a limited setting – I see it being a nice way to create a bit of slipperiness on my clit if I’m in a pinch but I wouldn’t use it to grease up the works for anal or hardcore fucking.

Jun 17,2008


Download Bedroom Radio #17 (52 minutes; 36 MB)

In this episode I have some fun playing with the Pure Pleasure glass dildo from VibeReview and the i-Lube personal silicone lubricant.

Show Notes and Shoutouts:
Nobilis Erotica
Mostly ITP

Contact Me Like This:
Website: bedroomradio.blogspot.com
Blog: lumpesse.com
More More More:

Smoking Hot Phone Sex
Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

Jun 10,2008

For an audio review of this particular product (every tingling moment of it!) check out Bedroom Radio Episode #16.

I recently tried Climax Bursts Cooling Lube from VibeReview.com and was pleasantly surprised by it. My past experience with sensation-based lube was an adventure – nay, an exercise in agony and defeat.

So, I was skeptical when I took a look at Climax Bursts. I was remembering the intense tingling that bordered on burning very quickly that I had experienced with the last sensation-enhancing lube. Jay used just a little bit on my clit as I cringed in anticipation of a potentially unpleasant situation. And then, nothing. It felt like lube. And then it slowly cooled down.

It didn’t feel like dry ice on my clit or like frostbite. It was cool and getting cooler and really pleasant. So, I we worked some inside me and I was actually digging on it. The Climax Bursts was creating this really fantastic contrast between the temperature of my more outer and inner skin. It tingled and felt frosty and nice. I touched myself expecting to feel that my pussy was newly refrigerated. It wasn’t.

Basically, what I am telling you is that it was like a minty gum commercial going on between my legs. And I liked it!

I grabbed Jay to see if he could help me warm it up and I will say that the cooling sensations lasted well into sex. I suspect that they mostly wore off when the lube did.

One caveat I will share about this product is that I think it is superior as a sensation gel but pretty mediocre as a lube. It got sticky and wore off quickly. But, Climax Bursts definitely has a nice strength – great cooling effects without being overwhelming. I know I will be going back to this futuristic bottle again!

May 30,2008

Download Bedroom Radio #16 (40 minutes, 18MB)

In this episode, I try out Climax Bursts Cooling Lube from VibeReview. I also read a very lovely story by Nobilis while Jay helps me test out the lube.

Oh, and I think I’m hilarious as well.

I said that I didn’t have a voicemail comment line, but I actually set one up again. So, you can tell me how much you love me or hate me at . Note: This isn’t how you call me for phone sex, it is just a voicemail box!

Contact Me Like This:
Website: bedroomradio.blogspot.com
Blog: lumpesse.com
More More More:

Smoking Hot Phone Sex
Sex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

May 19,2008


[For another, in-the-moment, perspective on this toy check out Bedroom Radio #15. My first time playing with the G Twist is recorded there]

At first glance, the G Twist looks both threatening and cheerful. Sure, it comes in a pretty blue color and has fun splashes of color. But it also has those ominous ridges going up and down the shaft. However, looks can be deceiving and this toy can be your best friend if you treat it right.

First, the important features. The G Twist is made of high quality medical grade silicone and is manufactured by Fun Factory, a very reputable toy maker. Holding it in your hand, you’ll find that the G Twist is sturdy but yields to pressure flexibly. The toy takes two standard AA batteries (included in the box) that manage to deliver very powerful vibrations.

So, how does it feel? I’ve played with this toy several times this week both for insertion and just to get some of those yummy vibrations. The crooked end of the shaft is perfect for G spot stimulation and when it is fully inserted, the ridges near the bottom line up perfectly with the clitoris. But what about those ridges? Let me just say that features like this are the reason that sex toys were invented. No human body has ridges like that and yet they feel so brilliantly amazing.

Why so amazing? Well imagine the most delicious sort of friction that you can and and add some speed bumps to the mix. This is definitely a toy to use with lots of high quality lube (there is actually a small sample in the box!). For vaginal stimulation, the ridges hit on every internal ridge in the body and have a unique sensation on the way in versus the way out. While the shaft is quite intense, the G spot stimulation is definitely more subtle. For me, this was an asset. There is a lot happening with this toy already and I wanted to enjoy the texture of the shaft and not have it overtaken by extreme G spot stimulation.

Last night I played with just the vibrator before bed. I didn’t feel like penetration (or even taking my panties off for that matter!) and slipped under the covers and pressed the G Twist between my legs. The vibrations are fully adjustable so I was able to tease myself to the edge over and over again.

Something that I’m realizing as I finish this write-up is that I am actually lusting after this toy. Looking at the picture of it, I’m longing for it and desperately want to retrieve it from the nightstand for a morning quickie! I’ve lusted after people and I’ve lusted after places but I’ve never lusted for a toy before – the G Twist is just that good.

If you are interested in purchasing the G Twist, it would mean the world to me if you did so through Vibe Review. Be sure to check out their site for an excellent selection of toys, lubes, and any supplies you could need for your perverse lifestyle.

May 19,2008

g-twist.jpg VS. johnfetlife.jpg

Download Episode #15 of Bedroom Radio (58MB, 65 minutes)

An episode wherein Ellie interviews of Fetlife.com and decides if his pretty blue eyes are any match in sexiness for the pretty blue
G Twist from Vibe Review.

If you join Fetlife, add me as a friend!

Read my full review of the G Twist.

Be in touch!
Website: bedroomradio.blogspot.com
Blog: lumpesse.com
More More More: - - Smoking Hot Phone SexSex Toys and Vibrator Reviews at VibeReview

About Ellie

Ellie Lumpesse writes about sex, BDSM, relationships, non-monogamy, feminism, and rhetoric. In addition to blogging, she produces the Bedroom Radio sex podcast, is a phone slut for hire, and reviews sex toys.

This is the last time you will see her talk about herself in the third person.

Photographic Evidence

Posts with pictures
Flickr Photostream

This is a Flickr badge showing public photos and videos from lumpesse. Make your own badge here.